


Storys by boredom and insomnia

by Shipping_all_the_things



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Humor, Gen, How Do I Tag, Multi, Violent, and a tad psychotic, but really please enjoy, many small animals, so you know, the usual, why can i only write at three am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 10:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5964025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipping_all_the_things/pseuds/Shipping_all_the_things
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>so Im in quite a few fandoms but sometimes theirs a story that i cant see any of my favorite characters being in, and thus these story's happen.<br/>so welcome to the tales of horror, tales of uncontrollable giggling, and i don't even know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misanthropy

“So what do you think it is Alex?”  
“I read about flowers, not small creatures.”   
They had been stranded on the island for what felt like months now but if the scribbled tally marks that were in the far corner of their camp meant anything they had been living there for just a week. The first day after the crash had been interesting to say the least. Carlos had found Hannah and Alex a few miles from the plane as he walked without purpose, not knowing what to do. From there the three tried to find a way to move Alex from his now crushed leg braces. Once that had been settled Carlos and Hannah had found some logs before using one of their phones battery’s to start a fire after an hour of watching Hannah rub two sticks together. It had been a few days before they had started walking through the woods and encountered Luis, the red head had been stuck in a tree and trying to use a pocket knife to cut his way down the ten foot drop. All in all when Victoria had found them running towards the oversized shack she had made in the side of a rocky hill they had been an odd bunch. Soon introductions had been made, food had been shared, and rules had been established. And no, absolutely no one had asked whether Victoria had wanted companionship at all. And she hadn’t, not at all. She supposed it could be worse though Carlos had easily fixed her loose and unhelpful knots on the shacks door, Hannah was able to find a use for the plastic bags lying around the tent from when they had found abandoned luggage by collecting water from branches. They now had an assortment of hunting spears and edible food thanks to Alex’s skills with a knife and expansive knowledge of wild plants. Victoria thought that Luis was somewhat of a balancing act. Jumping between jobs and keeping the optimism up. Today Victoria had been paired with Alex to go collect wood for the fire. And on their way back her companion had spotted something from his spot on the makeshift sled. Leading to the latest of the teams arguments.  
“No way, were not taking it with us. We don’t even know what it is!” Victoria crouched next to the small bundle of quills among the falling leaves and placed it gently onto the sled.  
“Get it off, get it off, get it off!” okay so maybe she didn’t put it exactly on the sled.  
“Calm down it’s just a tiny helpless, sleeping mammal. We’ve seen worse.”  
That shut him up. To be honest she really didn’t get why all of her new companions had such an issue with the fact that they had crashed on an island and were now alone while their loved ones rotted somewhere in the ocean, maybe it’s just her but overall it just felt like a way to start over. Dragging the sled towards the unlit fire Alex began passing her dry logs to place on the ashes. As he held the bundle in his hands, questioning how on earth things led to this, Luis ran towards them, shirt soaking wet.  
“Hey guys would you mind if I started the fire up this time? Hannah pushed me into a stream again and, wait is that a hedgehog?” looking up from his spot next to the remaining logs Alex replied, confusion lacing his voice.   
“Well I guess it kind of looks like one but are their teeth supposed to be this sharp? I thought they were herbivores.”  
“I wouldn’t know. Oh dude it could be our mascot!”  
“Our mascot?” Victoria asked, pulling the sled and its occupants towards the shack.  
“Yeah we could name it and feed it and make it a cute bed. I’m going to go tell Hannah!” he replied and quickly ran towards the makeshift farm to the far right of the fireplace, just out of view besides a few drying fish skins.  
It had been a week since William the hedgehog had been added to the mix and Carlos had more than a few issues with the little beast.  
“Victoria make your pet stop screeching, it’s keeping everyone awake.” Victoria reached up to Williams’s bed by the wooden table and began to pet him while glaring at Carlos’s back.  
“You’re the only one up and the suns already rising.”   
Carlos glared at the duo by the table and went to put on his shoes. As he stormed outside the shacks only other conscious occupant heard him whisper to himself.  
“Still don’t get why we didn’t just eat him.”  
Luis jumped awake as the door to the shack slammed shut next to his head. Looking around him he gestured towards the door at Victoria before following after Carlos, safety in numbers and all that. Victoria looked down at Henry as he squirmed in her hands. That wasn’t a very nice thing to say about her little spiky pal. As the weather had gotten colder it seemed that the self-imposed leaders temper had gotten shorter and shorter until even the ever peaceful Hannah started to voice her discomfort. “Were almost out of edible apples and he’s sitting there throwing his spear in an empty river and complaining.” she had said as they tried to get some of the remaining water from the bags. All in all the feeling had gone from bittersweet to sour among the group after Carlos had thrown a fit and complained about how they should really just dump the useless disabled kid to get more resources for themselves. Victoria was broken from her thoughts by a growling from the corner of the room. While she had been busy thinking Henry had managed to scamper his way over to Alex and began to nibble on his fingers.  
“What happened? William? Ouch!” Alex screamed as William bit down.  
“William no we don’t eat friends! That’s rude apologize to Alex.” The hedgehog (Were they even sure he’s a hedgehog?) Began chewing on the remains of Alex’s finger that he had stuffed into his mouth. Alex began screaming waking Hannah who began to rush to get a clean cloth, a towel, anything to stop the bleeding as she tried to calm him down.  
“Shh Alex it’s going to be alright. Just breathe.”  
“Stop. Come back!” William was scrambling for the door in an effort to escape all of the louder than usual humans. As he ran into the foliage Victoria ran after him despite Hannah’s cries to come back. It wasn’t fair. Her one friend was gone all because Alex couldn’t shut his mouth and let her quietly bandage his finger. All because Luis distracted her from watching William. All because Carlos had anger issues that he didn’t know how to hide. She saw him run into a particularly dark cave and blocked it off with a rock, at least then she knew he’d never leave. As she became more and more lost within the woods Victoria snatched some berries and stuffed them in her pocket. She recalled Hannah telling her that they were quite delicious, she had spoken to her as if Victoria was a mere child. Incapable of realizing when things were clearly too bright to be safe. To inviting to actually be good for you. Victoria stopped as she saw a fire burning. She had come full circle, before she could make her presence known Carlos made himself heard. “Then it’s decided. Tomorrow I and Hannah will go looking for Victoria and the beast.” Hannah looked across the small fire, Alex leaning on her shoulder succumbing to sleep again. “She isn’t even sick. I checked the trail mix a million times and it’s still full, she hasn’t taken a single bite.”   
“Why am I the one to stay with Alex?” Luis squeaked from his spot leaning against the rocky wall. The new found traitor looked towards him with a look of hidden disgust. “Because you can’t hunt and Alex can’t walk.” Victoria backed away into the bushes once more. It wasn’t fair, why couldn’t they just leave her alone? If they caught William well… food had been depleting rapidly with the fish swimming upstream and William’s appetite she knew that if Carlos’s intentions were as she thought it wouldn’t be long before they killed her. Then her friend would be trapped forever, scared with no sun, water, or food. Victoria looked down at her pocket and walked towards the small supply of fruits that were securely in the trees, away from animals. She was lucky Luis was an idiot.  
It hadn’t taken all that long for the effects of their fruit salad breakfast to kick in. Victoria had to hand it to Alex. He had been less of an idiot than first anticipated. While Carlos and Hannah walked towards the beach Luis had gobbled up his food without even sparing its contents a second glance. His companion however had only eaten the strawberries from what Victoria could see from her place in the trees. It hadn’t made all that much of a difference in the end though, as she trudged towards the cave, the sled towing a sleeping Luis and a gagged and struggling Alex behind her. She still wasn’t sure that she wanted her buddy near Luis though, he might hurt his teeth on the optimist’s thick skull. Moving the fallen trees from there place in front of the cave she saw William sleeping in the far side of his home for the time being. “Hi there buddy I brought you some food. Now just stay there and I’ll be right back.”  
As she lay the wastes of space onto the cave floor William waddled over to Luis and began to naw on his cheek, blood dribbling down onto the floor as Luis lay unmoving. Alex had become deadweight, exhaustion from struggling finally creeping up on him. “I’m almost sad to see you go. You weren’t that bad of a conversationalist. If only you would have spoken your mind.” Crouching in front of Alex’s tired eyes Victoria whispered the last words she would ever say to him. “Now then if you could do me a favor and scream really, really loud. After all it’ll be so much easier if they come here.” Removing the scarf from his mouth Victoria placed William’s quill covered body onto Alex’s stomach and left him to his meal.  
“Did you hear that?”  
“It’s coming from over there.” Hannah was fed up with this game, how hard could it be to find such a loud and obnoxious person on such a small island, well, besides the one running next to her. Carlos had dragged her out into the woods as the sun was just rising and the effects of being out for so long without breakfast were beginning to show. It didn’t help that he had tripped over a root and hurt his knee, the girl was stopped dead in her tracks as Carlos dragged her towards the source of the screaming. It was dark, so dark that as Hannah tripped over something, hitting the floor and dragging Carlos down with her. “What the heck!”  
“Hannah oh my god!” Carlos looked like he was about to be sick. Hannah turned to look at the source of his fear, and almost threw up. Luis was dead. There was no doubt about it because if he was still alive then god help him. The right side of his face was missing chunks muscle peeking out next to red stained bone, his right eye was missing and based on the teeth marks going down his neck she had a clear idea of where it had gone. Hannah scrambled backwards until she hit stone, she couldn’t see Carlos anymore, and he was still by the entrance. “Carlos? Are you okay?” carefully crawling towards where she thought he would be, looking up in time to see his split-tip spear split a hole in his neck. She wanted to scream but felt her throat choke the words down in favor of trying to stand as Victoria walked closer. She walked slowly, with the air of someone who had better things to do then deal with the pest crawling towards Williams empty nest. Apparently she had spoken aloud as Hannah looked down in time to stop her hand from going straight into Alex’s small intestine, his torso was gone. Bitten and nibbled away and oh god how long must they have been in here without her or Carlos knowing. “If you’re wondering where William is I think you’ll be pleased to know that he’s no longer here. I brought him back to the shack and gave him some straw berries. It’s quite cute really, though I doubt you care.” Victoria looked down at the wide eyed girl before running towards the exit. With Hannah trying to follow she pushed the rocks down until the last boulder fell in front of the caves bark covering. “I know it’s hard to get but think about it this way, with just me and William it will be less people to feed. And if you get hungry there’s always some berries in there for you.” Walking through the silent woods towards camp she spoke again to no one in particular. “Besides, it’s not like I could have trusted you anyway.”


	2. The chinchilla incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if your still around then i may have just ruined hedgehogs for you... sorry. on a happier note please enjoy another story about a small mammal! (i swear it goes better this time.)

"From the moment I saw the chinchilla on top of the pool cover, I knew I was screwed."

"Wait a minute. You honest to god want us to believe that you saw a small mammal and didn't automatically drown it in glitter?" a pillow was thrown at Arthurs face for that remark. On the other hand Arthur just looked mildly amused.

"Shut up Arthur do you want to know what happened or not?"

"Clara please just tell us why you called us to your house at two in the morning. I think Toni's about to fall asleep on me again"

"Fine. As I was saying. I woke up to some fluffy little cutie pie staring me in the face around four hours ago. I still have yet to find out why I was asleep my pool cover, let alone how my jacket hadn't ripped a hole in it.so I was just sat there like 'of course the one day my parents are out to dinner this somehow happens'. But then the little guy, or girl I don't really know, goes and runs towards the flipping house so now I'm like 'really Henry your going to do this to me now' while I"

Allie looked up from playing with Toni's hair at that point. "Henry?"

"Well yeah he needed a name."

"Can we just accept that she already named a random chinchilla and let her finish the story so we can leave?" Toni mumbled as he tried to stay awake.

"It's not my fault it's cute. Anyway I'm running into my house praying to every god in history that Riley doesn't mistake him for a giant mouse and try to eat him. But when I get to my kitchen what do I see? Henry being chased on top of the counter by my cat that's almost twice his size. So I try to grab Henry so my parents don't come home to a dead chinchilla in the kitchen and Riley was like 'ha you really think I'm letting this giant chubby mouse get away? Think again Clara' and pounces on Henry, who's just sat there between the bread box and a box of cereal the poor little thing, but Henry was like 'you dumb fat cat, I know karate' and jumps onto Riley's head and I'm just sat there like 'oh my god what do I do' so I kind of threw a banana to distract them and grabbed Henry in an empty cereal box. So now there's a chinchilla in my closet and I have no idea how to handle this."

"So that's why you've been clutching Riley's carrier like it's a life line."

Toni leapt up from his slumped position on top of his definitely-not-a-jock snuggle buddy. "Holy shit why didn't you say that. Clara I've been leaning on this door for ten minutes. Do you want me to die?!" 

"Welcome back to the land of the living Toni. Glad you could join us" the sarcasm was punctuated by the glare Allie sent their boyfriend as they were used as a human shield between Toni and the animal that was less than a fourth of his size.

"Shut up Allen it's not my fault I was sleeping at two am like a normal fucking person"

"It's Allie today, and I can guarantee that no one in this room sleeps at two am"

"Sorry, Allie. But still my point exactly"

And now Clara was beginning to wonder how they forgot about the issue at hand so easily. "I know you two just love to hear each other's voices, but can we get back to the fact that there's currently a chinchilla in neon heads closet?" and apparently so was Arthur as he moved from his position on the bright orange desk chair in the corner of the room. For a few minutes all four of the friends stared at the closet. Listening to the subtle scratching sounds that could be heard from the other side. "what time do your parents get home anyway?" the answer couldn't be good going by the way she slowly covered her head with a blanket, presumably to avoid looking at any of them. "'m p'tty 're th' s'id som' ti'e a'und 'r" Allie got up from her spot as human shield, causing Toni to run behind Arthur, and threw the blanket across the room. "You woke Toni up at two in the morning, made me abandon my bad movie marathon, and caused Arthur to drop I don't even know what, so we could help. Now are you going to tell us a straight answer or should I get going?"

"They said they'll be back by four okay!" Toni, Arthur, Allie, and Clara looked on in horror as a crack was heard from the closet. Arthur pushed the pile of sweaters that looked to have been thrown as a makeshift shield out of the way to open the door. Only to find that the shield may not have been as effective as Clara (and Toni) had hoped. "Well then. I'll just go block the other door since apparently chinchillas have teeth of steel." he said in shock over the fact that this was actually happing right now. Clara and Allie had already started to search the room. While Clara had decided to use some sunflower seeds as bait and was now standing in a ring of them as she tried to bargain with Henry to 'please come out I swear I have more where this came from', Allie was piling anything and everything onto the bed in an effort to leave the furry monster nowhere to hide, giving each item to Toni who was also on the bed since there was no way he was going to risk having to explain to his mom why his foot had been bitten off at almost three in the morning.

"Over there!" said Allie as she threw Clara's backpack at tones chest. "Arthur it's too your right get it!"

"Don't hurt him though!" it was chaos as Arthur whipped his jacket off and pounced onto the cause of panic "Toni the carrier, the carrier!" "I'm not getting near that thing!"

"Then give it to me!" Allie grabbed the carrier and threw it on the middle of the floor as Arthur threw the jacket, bundle into it. As they all stood in the bedroom trying to absorb what had just happened at almost three in the morning there was only one thing Arthur could say as Toni dialed animal control and Clara tried to figure out how she was explaining her now broken closet door to her parents.

"Somebody's buying me a new jacket."


	3. Interuptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's dedicated to the voice that develops in your head the second you pick up a pencil and try to write, you know the one.

It was a dark and stormy night. Chester had

-'Really a dark and stormy night? What are you five? Think of something more creative!'

Fine. It was a windy night in

-'November'

In November, the sky was bathed in ink and Chester was on his way to meet the lovely lady Tinder.

\- 'like that dating app?'

Yes like the app now be quite. As I was saying, he was on his way to meet lord and lady Tinder at their annual masquerade ball. He was unfortunately without companionship though. It wasn't as if he was unpleasant to be around, he had told many jokes that could cause even the most set of a grimace to break out into a laugh. Nor was he considerably unappealing. With a slight smirk and a twinkle in his vibrant eyes he was known to make all of the unwed woman swoon and make the wed woman wish they were permitted to. This was exactly the problem

-'Oh plot twist'

May I be permitted to be dramatic for more than five seconds?!

-'Just trying to liven things up, shessh dude'

Well since you already ruined my theatrics, Chester did indeed have an issue with the fact that whenever he wanted to escape from his boring job as editor for the local newspaper and simply get a drink, he had to deal with every woman in the vicinity throwing themselves at him. He may as well risk being caught at the basement of jaspers shaves and barber shop. He never could understand how such a speakeasy could function so discreetly if everyone was so...vocal. But at the very least jasper was mildly cute. "Watch where you're going ya bloody idiot!" and there go his plans to relax once he got there, along with the breath that had been held in his lungs at the sudden acquaintance with the red and auburn carriage.

\- 'why so specific and articulate?'

Chester decided to not risk being late to such an anticipated event

-'Aw quit ignoring me'

His steadfast anger had him arriving at the tinder mansion with time to spare.

-'I see how it is. Fine, I'll shut my mouth.'

Knocking on the large doors, he was left little time to attempt to brush some of the mud and horse droppings from his tailcoat before a butler had come to take his wardrobe bag to his temporary place of residence. As Chester followed he found that even after having known lord and lady tinder for so long there unusual taste in décor still fascinated him. "Here you are sir, I have also been told to inform you that all of the master's overnight guest shall be served dinner come eight, costumes on. Shall you be dining with us?" "Please inform lord Tinder that I shall indeed. And if that is all I should wish to not be disturbed until eight comes round." The butler placed the case just inside the room and handed him an intricate looking mask. "Of course sir." He said before briskly walking back down the hall to presumably help another early guest to their chamber. Chester supposed he may as well get changed now. After all, what was a masquerade without fancy attire? Chester lay on top of the covers feeling rather dapper in his sea blue suit and tie, the vibrant mix of shades actuated by the sequined fish and coral that were sprinkled from where suit pants met shiny black shoes to the fish seemingly hiding underneath the deep blue tie around his neck. He had been somewhat reluctant to even sit on the bed for fear of not wanting to get up, it was very soft, but the room he had been given was void of any chairs. Normally this would be irritating but the grand selection of literature made up for it.so here he lay, staring at the mirror on the other side of the bed in an effort to look at the mask that had been given to him for...quite a while he should dare say. But he couldn't help but stare it was so lovely. It looked as if whoever had taken the time to craft such a detailed mask had done so with the intent to make his eyes look like a part of the ocean itself.

-'all right I've been quite but can you please move the plot along? If there even is one...'

Well I was about to before a certain someone interrupted. Now sit back down. Right then. He started at the sudden knock on the door breaking the thick blanket of silence that had been cast over the room. "Master has asked me to inform you to please be at the dining hall in five minutes as supper is almost prepared."

"Thank you I shall make my way down." It was only after he had begun his descent down the corridor that he realized he did not fully remember just where the dining hall was in the vast tinder mansion. Turning down the east corridor he was met first face with a silk purple shoulder. "Oh my, Sir Adler, I did not realize you were there you were so silent. Are you quite alright? You are aware the dining hall is down the west corridor aren't you?" "I apologize lord Tinder I appear to have lost my placement a tad."

"No need to apologize. And I'm not lord Tinder, tonight I am the sky!" stated lord Tinder loudly as he walked with Chester towards the west corridor. "So how is the paper business going? I hear that quite a few young ladies have attempted a job at the starry sun since you became the editor. Can't say I blame them." Going by the way lord Tinder had attempted to block his face from view with his almost black top hat he had not intended for Chester to hear the later part of his statement, but judging by the blush he had peeking from his star adorned mask as Chester smirked at him with merely a raised eyebrow, he knew that his statement had been heard loud and clear. "I do look rather impressive don't I? I was just telling jasper down by the shops that I needed to get some lilacs and lilies." Chester knew he had been correct as he saw the twinkle of recognition in lord Tinder's eyes before they walked into the dining room to find their seats.

-'oh there's code words now!?"

Would you mind leaving even the smallest shred of mystery?

-'but annoying you is so much more fun. Besides without me your already be done and how boring would that be?'

Just for that I'm not finishing the story.

-'what?'

You heard me. I'm done. Look, this is me, leaving the room.

'wait! But what happens to Chester? Do they hook up? What about lady tinder? What's lord tinder's first name!?'

Goodnight!

-'shoot she really left me like this. Well I'll never get to sleep now... I hate unresolved endings.'


	4. Group chat dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a brief summary of the four kinds of people in your group chat. (a tad more swearing then usual, you've been warned.)

Keely has logged on

K: dude wtf happened last night

K: guys really help I woke up in Miranda's tub and I'm covered in some weird glow stick jizz

MCpanada has logged on

K: oh good your up

M: wtf guys

M: also Kris I swear on my mum if you don't help me down from here

K: I'm just surprised you reached your phone

RaVe4DaYs has logged on

Alex_B has logged on

R: wakey hangover heads XP

A: someone can explain why I am currently on a 'walk of shame' as you say?

M: you're not alone dude Kris is trying to scrub some weird glitter glow stick stuff off of his eye lids and I'm fucking stuck to my bedroom DOOR

K: u got laid?! Nice

M: that's really all your getting from this situation?

A: I am getting the urge to walk to your house if you do not mind

M: might as well seeing as we all have some shit to figure out

K: hey Lizzy, why the silence

R: just waiting for you guys to remember the AWESOME ASS RAVE THAT I FINALLY DRAGGED YOUR ASSES TO

A: ah so it is your fault then. You will be dying now

M: that still doesn't explain why I'm FUCKINGTAPPEDTOMYFBUERBGJDG

MCpanda has been disconnected

K: that's gotta hurt

R: what happened? Btw I'm going to your house to give you all my special DELUXE HANGOVERBGONE DRINK

A: give me some and you shall dye slightly less

R: deal

K: I finally fell off of my door in case anyone's still worried (its Miranda my phone fell out the window would one of you pick it up on your way in?)

R: if you've got Kris phone than wtf is he doing? Also ill pick it up, third window to the side right?

A: how do you know the placement of Miranda's windows?

K: he's still trying to wash the glow stick stuff out of his skin. I'm also going to need a new tub cause it looks like a million bath bombs stained my tub at once

A: I am at your house and have gotten your phone would one people please let me in?

R: wow you guys must really be hungover if Alex's English is slipping while he's TEXTING of all things. Sure dude I'll let you in just give me a sec

Alex_B has logged off

K: WAIT WTF HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE

R: you need to lock your windows XP

K: LIZ IM SERIOUS WTF DUDE

K: guys its Kris again Miranda looks pissed and is headed downstairs, Liz you better fucking run for it

R: SHIT

RaVe4DaYs has logged off

Keely has logged off


	5. The gayest situation and the straightest of men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to a more story kind of,well, story. i live in new York and one day i saw a motorcycle driving by and the screamed "so remind me why were going to the gay bar again?!"

He used to think that lip gloss was the most feminine he would ever wear, and that was simply because he had two sisters and they had no Barbie dolls to play dress up with.

"We brought the silicone ladies!"

That opinion was quickly erased from his mind.

It had begun just like any other day. He woke up, had a granola bar, took a shower and went to watch YouTube. It was only when he saw that the front page was full of drag queens and the top article was 'All about drag week with Roxanne cheery bomb' that he remembered why he should be afraid "open up Mr. Recluse I know you're in there!". As he ran for his bedroom the last normal sentence he heard all day was

"I lost my keys so as your roommate I'm reserving my right to break in." And even then it wasn't all that normal of a sentence to anyone without the party for life roommate he was currently wishing didn't exist.

Some two hours later he had been dragged out of his bedroom and firmly plopped onto Alex's motorcycle while they went speeding down the city roads at god knows how early in the morning.

"So dude, I know you got to be at the corkscrew by 5 but that's about it. You want to tell me more about why you've been somewhere between sulking and straight up fear for the past few days?"

"Straight may not be the best word choice at the moment." He grumbled into Alex's back, just barely being heard. "So you remember when I came home completely plastered a couple nights ago?"

"You were so drunk I think I still have the video of you explaining to the microwave why you're going to be the 'prettiest princess of them all'"

"Really?" Alex nodded his head and Maurice could feel him trying to contain his laughter. "Crap, anyway long story short while I was still at the bar I may have made a few bets with one of the local queens and..." he couldn't say it. This was the single handedly most embarrassing thing he would ever do. "Oh my god. Maurice, you know better than to bet with those guys there only looking to... Maurice oh my god you didn't!"

"Yeah." And for the rest of the ride Alex was prying information out of them. What time is the show? Did he know what dress he'd be in? Could he get a seat? All while loudly exclaiming that 'whoa dude you must have been drunker than I thought.'

Maurice could feel sweat forming on his palms as they pulled up to the back of the club. He almost regretted asking Alex to drive him, he wouldn't stop with the jokes and had insisted upon staying at the club until your show came on since you refused to tell him the time. Alex however was secretly trying to think of a good excuse to join in on the best thing he had ever seen happen to his introvert of a roommate. He should have gotten drunk too, why didn't they make more gluten free beer? Was that even a thing? He hoped so.

Knocking on the neon door they could both already hear the blaring music and the sounds of drag queens in the distance. "Oh good Maurice darling you made it!"

And thus he was pulled out from behind his friend by two of the most outrageous women he had ever seen.

This was it. The end of any sliver of masculinity he had left. And Alex, the cheeky bastard, was just standing in the doorway looking around. The two uhm, ladies, looked expectantly at him though.

"I hope you don't mind that Alex is here, he drove me over."

"I was actually wondering if I could join in on this. Is there some papers I need to sign or something?"

Maurice's soft exclamation of 'what, dude what?' couldn't be heard over the sound of arguing by the now ten ladies that had almost ran to the door with hungry looks in their eyes. As for Alex, he had decided to step inside and examine dresses and the shortest shorts he had ever seen on the racks.

"Ladies!" looks like someone had finally decided to bring order to the chaos. "I know that were currently a little low on contestants but don't you think it would be a bit sudden to have a new entry so soon?"

"We could have him announce for us."

"Yeah cherry and I could get his makeup done and with a butt like that we don't even need to break out the extra memory foam."

"Thank you. I think?" maybe if he just quietly ducked his head and went through the door he could steal the traitor's motorcycle and just leave. But as he started to slink away from the current coat rack Alex was going through the sudden death grip he had on his arm said that plan wasn't happening.

"So gentlemen my names Vanessa and this is Cherry. Are you ready to become beautiful?" So he could stay? Sweet now he just needed to think of a new name, could he use his own? Alex is pretty gender neutral. Taking his vice like grip off of Maurice's arm he asked "where do we start?"

Maurice sat on one of the fuzzy pink chairs that littered the room as he decided that yes, yes he did currently hate living in the big apple as Vanessa and Alex decided yes, he definitely looked better in the fuchsia pumps than the light pink flats. He had to admire how dedicated Alex was to this though. He seemed to know more about makeup and complementary colors than any straight man should. as soon as Alex was told he was going to be the announcer he had evidently asked "So I'm gonna become Effie Trinket?!" prompting most heads to turn to Alex once again in a mad, admittedly slightly hilarious, rush to try and find the best costume as every drag queen kicked themselves for not thinking of such a magnificent idea themselves. Now he was decked out in a silky purple dress that looked almost straight out of the movie. Alex considered it strange that they had such a specific outfit on hand, and in his size at that!

As unique as Alex was, that didn't change the fact that every guy he knew would forever think of this as 'proof that Maurice must be gay' because really, what straight man would ever be in a drag contest?

"Oh stop mourning your heterosexuality."

"That's easy for you to say you can just say you like the aesthetic or something and everyone will believe you and your art degree." Alex sat in front of him to help him put on his pumps as he tried to think of a way to get him to snap out of it. "Hey Cherry!"

"What!?"

"I need your help here!"

Cherry angrily bounced away from the pile of boas they were going through and slid the pump onto Maurice's right foot with an ease that could only come from years of practice. As he watched in awe Alex thought of a plan. "So why did you become a drag queen?"

Cherry seemed to be only slightly surprised by Alex's question as they replied. "Well you see I'm not always cherry B. Bomb, for most of the year in just one of the many lawyers who thought that a career like that would impress their parents to no end. I felt stuck in a sense. Sure my parents were proud of my job but I was bored with it. So I thought 'screw it, I live in the craziest city in the USA, let's go find the most outrageous thing we can do!' and then I did it." Maurice looked a tad shocked while Alex, well he was in the process of trying to find a way to politely ask cherry if they could come by his studio to model sometime. "And now every few weeks you'll find me in this bright red wig and a giant foam ass. But that's just me, I'm sure some of the others have much better reasons."

Flash forward by a few minutes and a trip to the men's room that involved a lot of duct tape and mental scaring for both of them and Alex was walking Maurice around the backroom to get him used to the tallest shoes he had never thought he would wear. Weather the focused stare he had on his shoes was because of them or the new information that came with Cherry's story, Alex couldn't tell. As they walked past a vanity Alex couldn't help but notice the dilemma that was going on in front of him. "Go with the light green lipstick." The drag queen at the vanity looked behind her and gave Effie Trinket a grateful smile. "Thank you ever so much sweetie. Your to be our announcer tonight no?"

"Yes I am, Alexandra Trinket at your service, and who would you be?"

"Well tonight I'm the Miss.Flower Child."

Maurice took the opportunity to sit down once more as he watched Alex complete Miss.Flowers makeup.

"Oh its perfect darling!" apparently some of the nearby vanity users thought so too as Alex was whisked away to do his thing. How he was going to work on his Effie Trinket impersonation Maurice didn't know.

"This your first time sweetheart?" Miss.Flower looked at Maurice with the kind of eyes he saw mothers give their children at the zoo when they asked which animal they were looking at. "Yeah it is, would you mind helping me with this?" as Miss.Flower rolled her chair in front of Maurice to help with his wig she looked almost fairylike. "It's a rush isn't it?"

"Its..." it hadn't been all that bad know that he thought of it. "It's been pretty fun so far come to think of it."

"I remember my first show, oh and you still haven't rehearsed your bit yet either! Heard you're going to be doing a karaoke act." Maurice had no idea what that was but now he was intrigued by something else. "So why are you a drag queen?"

Miss.Flower fiddled with a bobby pin as she hummed in thought. "Do you have sisters?"

"Yeah I have two. They found out I was here and now they've demanded front row seats." He had almost forgot in all of the commotion. That should be fun.

"Well you know how sisters put makeup on you because they're bored or they don't have dolls."

"Yeah. Broke my little sisters Barbie once and my older sis held me down so my lil sis could put lip gloss on me instead."

"I lived with just my sisters, so over the years it happened a lot. But sometime around my senior year I realized it happened so much I kind of wanted it to happen. I like the thought of putting on makeup and looking pretty. Now don't get me wrong I'm still usually a guy who love sports and will fight you if you say he Yankees suck but I also thought being pretty was fun. After a few weeks in uni I asked my sisters if something was wrong with me. Straight guys aren't supposed to like makeup you know." Miss.Flower said shrugging her shoulders and she put a bobby pin in Maurice's hair a bit too roughly. "sorry darling, but yeah, after an extensive intervention which consisted of both my sisters sitting me on the couch with a tub of cookie dough as they explained that I was perfectly fine, and that 'no Bruce you don't put blush on your nose'" leaning back in her chair flower surveyed her work, a smile on her face. "Then I found out there was a place I could be as feminine as I wanted and no one would think less of me. And now I'm here, two years later playing baseball during the week and having the best time of my life every third Saturday."

As he stood up and said thanks to miss flower for both fixing his, luxurious, wig and for her story he made his way to one of the sofas in the corner. Where an exasperated looking Vanessa was waving him to her with a suspiciously thick stack of index cards.

"There you are darling we still haven't worked on your act yet!"

"Sorry I was just getting some help with my wig." She looked at Maurice's head and seemed to approve as she thrusted the cards into his lap.

"Now as you may know already you'll be doing a karaoke act. Now you don't really need to sing all you need to do is lip-sync and strut your stuff."

"What song will I be 'strutting my stuff' to exactly?" he said while puffing out his chest.

"Save the boobs bit for when we actually get them on you darling." She replied with a wink. "And you'll be lip-syncing to whatever song you want. Just try and keep in mind your outfit and your name when you pick."

"What is my name anyway?" no one had told him yet and he was starting to get worried.

"Well due to the circumstances you're here- don't give me that look mister it's not my fault you tried to beat me in poker- your name as of this moment is Neon Stars!" neon stars. He wasn't sure what he was expecting but it certainly fit in with his outfit. Wait a second... neon... "Neon lights!"

"What was that darling?" Vanessa looked up from some of the index cards she had taken from Maurice with a curios look on her face. "Neon lights by demi Lovato." It was perfect, it was a bit of an intense song but he was already this far. May a well go all out. Vanessa for one looked surprised. "Are you sure darling? Usually first timers go with some easier songs to dance or act to."

"Well what was your first song?"

"Begin again. By purity ring. My girlfriend picked it out." what could he say, it fit. Vanessa was an elegant person.

"Wait your girlfriend picked it?" this story he had to hear.

"Yeah she figured that since I looked fancy I may as well pick a song I could flow to. She helped me rehearse my act too, I picked people in the audience and did a waltz with them in certain parts. It was fun." He was sure she was trying not to burst into laughter going by the way she shook as she covered her lips. "So no one minded?"

"Minded what darling?" she asked through her smile.

"That you're a drag queen?"

"Oh no I think they were more excited than I was for my first show. It was a fun thing to do on the weekends. Id enter a show or go to an event and they got to watch me do my stuff and now there my best cheerleaders." As they made their way around the room giving out the numbered cards Maurice thought about Vanessa's comment. Maybe this wasn't going to be that bad.

It was almost show time and everyone was anxious. Vanessa and another queen Alex and Maurice had neglected to get the name of had gone out thirty minutes before the show was to start to go get the fake boobs, really what else were they supposed to call them? And had yet to return. As everyone sat backstage in there line Alex was panicking. What if he screwed up a line? What if he fell off stage somehow? It had been fun so far but no the show was about to happen and no one was ready and he had to be on stage in five minuets to start the show. "You ok trinket?" he looked up to see Maurice standing next to him with a worried look on his face. "Shouldn't you be in line by now?"

"I got Cherry in front of me so I don't think I'll forget my spot anytime soon with her hair." Maurice was glad he at least got a chuckle out of his worried friend. "Now what's wrong you've been over here pacing like your about to go into war."

"What if I screw up? We're not even pros at this?" Alex grabbed onto Maurice's dress. "None of us even have our boobs yet and we have ten minutes!"

"It'll be fine you'll see. Vanessa will walk through that door in two minutes and then well all tuck in our boobs and you'll go out there and blow them away."

"What if I screw up?" Maurice put a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder and gave him a purple tinted smile. "If there's anything I've learned today it's that the whole point of this is to just have fun and be as ridiculous as you want, I don't think you can mess up."

Alex looked up at Maurice it determination in his yes.

"Yeah. Yeah that's right. The whole point of this is to have fun. And I'm about to be Effie-motherfucking-Trinket. I got this!" Alex looked at his friend with a raised brow. "Wait does that mean your finally over your stupid identity crisis?"

Maurice was about to give him a gloved smack on the shoulder as the backdoors burst open. "Sorry we took so long ladies! Cali over here lost her boa in the car!"

"But on the Brightside..." Cali paused as Vanessa opened one of the boxes. "We brought the silicone ladies!"

As everyone rushed to get there bust into place with five minutes to the show Maurice thought about the day. "You know what Alex" he said looking over his shoulder as the announcer for the evening put his breasts in place. "I think I might just do this more often."


End file.
